Not exactly SFW:
Archive for the 'Boobs' Category
Not exactly SFW:
Betty Sue really wanted her senior photo to stand out from the rest of her classmates’ pictures.
Flying back from Florida last week, I ended up sitting next to a young mother and her six-month-old. Now while this sounds like a horror story (tiny little “La Bamba” plane, woman flying alone with her newborn), but it actually turned out to be just fine. The kid slept almost the whole time and was pretty chill when he was awake. The only really uncomfortable part was when, about three minutes after meeting her, she loudly declared that we should really try breastfeeding, and if it didn’t take the first time, keep at it.
“Some women’s nipples just aren’t shaped right,” she announced to all 40 passengers on the plane and the small crew, “you can get these little cups that go into the freezer and then ‘PING!’ the nipple just pops right up. Breast is Best.” the young doctor declared. “The baby’s gotta latch. And if your milk dries up, that’s it!”
I’m pretty tough to embarass, and this didn’t really get to me, but it is pretty alarming how quickly decorum goes out the window between two complete strangers as soon as the subject of birthing comes up.
Next thing you know, we’ll all be discussing perineal massage at T.G.I.Fridays.
Jenny Jenny, who can I turn to? I started reading this book in Mimi Maternity while PJ tried on some jeans, and it was really funny.
First of all, she talks about her boobs and masturbating, which I’ve found to be a rarity in most pregnancy books. Also, she really gives the lowdown regarding pooping on the delivery table. Like really talks about it. Like there may be something wrong with her.
The chapters are short, and funny. She talks about turning into a psycho chick. (Excerpt where she threatens to beat up a waiter on page 6 here.) It’s a good bathroom book, and it turns out her experiences are actually worth reading about.
Plus, it makes you feel good inside: If the broad who got famous for sticking her tongue out on MTVs “Singled Out” can successfully not kill her child, there may be hope for the rest of us.