[open on a married couple trying to think of a name for their unknown baby ]
Wife: I was thinking about Joseph.
Husband: [ turned off ] Joseph?
Wife: Yeah. Joseph.
Husband: Well.. it’s a nice name, but the kids are gonna call him “Joe Blow”. I mean, as long as you know that. Or “Sloppy Joe”, you know.. “How are Mr. & Mrs. Schmo?”
Wife: Well, I guess that’s true..
Husband: I mean, it’s a nice name.
Wife: Well, that’s alright. How about John? That’s nice and simple.
Husband: What, are you serious?
Wife: Well, yeah.
Husband: John? You want to do that to the kid?
Wife: Do what?
Husband: [ mimicking ] “Hey, John! Hey, let’s go to the john. Huh, John? Let’s go!”
Wife: Well.. wouldn’t he outgrow those jokes?
Husband: Look, kids are mean. I just want him to have a happy childhood, too.. but, “Long John Silver”? I mean, I don’t know what to say!
Wife: Okay, okay, okay.. Well.. um.. what about Peter?
Husband: Oh, right. Sure. Peter. Let’s just put him up for adoption right now, save the kid a lot of agony. I mean, obviously – no Peter, no Dick, no Rod! Can we just discuss this intelligently, please?