home

Archive for the 'Names' Category

You Tricked Me Again, Superman!!!

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

So this boner Swedish couple names their kid Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 . . . Amazingly, www.Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.com is not yet taken. You know what to do.

- Zac

P.S. Remember the goofy 1940′s Superman villain called Mr. Mxyzptlk? And the only way to send him back to his dimension was to trick him into saying his name backwards? Nope. Nothing more to add. Just wondered if you remembered.

Scarring our Children for Life

Sunday, August 19th, 2007

Lately I’ve been into paying attention to what other blogger dads and moms call their kids in their blogs. The nice thing is that when they’re all in therapy together, they can help each other cope with all their confused feelings.

Our little bundles of Joy:

Gunslinger
Cheeky
The Peanut
The Monkey and The Bean
The Squeaker
Busy Girl, Busy Boy, and The Not Yet Kindergartener Formerly Known as The Preschooler Formerly Known as Busy Baby
Lil Miss
The Dragon
Li’l Scurvy

Any other angels in the blogfield that I’m missing?

- Zac

Wake Up, Adolf

Friday, June 8th, 2007

Naming the Baby

[Via that two-timing skank at The Cleaver]

– Matt

Kakinston Tinkletop

Tuesday, September 19th, 2006

Someone at this handbag website has been digging through parenting messageboards and posting the most ridiculous baby-name ideas. There are a ton of good ones, but this one is probably my favorite:

It seems to me that the name “Scatman” is a great one. you know: after semi-singer and comedian Scatman Crothers.

I keep envision having a son named Scatman. I can imagine everyone he meets saying, ‘What a cool name.’ Which is good because that way they’ll have something to like about him even if his personality is really off-putting. Or if he’s shallow or a bully when he’s like 13, when he should be getting into punk rock or something. At least they’ll think he has a hip name.

But don’t use it, cause I thought of it.

Click here and prepare to kill about two schadenfreude-filled hours.

- Matt

no Peter, no Dick, no Rod!

Tuesday, June 6th, 2006

[open on a married couple trying to think of a name for their unknown baby ]

Nick & JuliaWife: I was thinking about Joseph.

Husband: [ turned off ] Joseph?

Wife: Yeah. Joseph.

Husband: Well.. it’s a nice name, but the kids are gonna call him “Joe Blow”. I mean, as long as you know that. Or “Sloppy Joe”, you know.. “How are Mr. & Mrs. Schmo?”

Wife: Well, I guess that’s true..

Husband: I mean, it’s a nice name.

Wife: Well, that’s alright. How about John? That’s nice and simple.

Husband: What, are you serious?

Wife: Well, yeah.

Husband: John? You want to do that to the kid?

Wife: Do what?
Husband: [ mimicking ] “Hey, John! Hey, let’s go to the john. Huh, John? Let’s go!”

Wife: Well.. wouldn’t he outgrow those jokes?

Husband: Look, kids are mean. I just want him to have a happy childhood, too.. but, “Long John Silver”? I mean, I don’t know what to say!

Wife: Okay, okay, okay.. Well.. um.. what about Peter?

Husband: Oh, right. Sure. Peter. Let’s just put him up for adoption right now, save the kid a lot of agony. I mean, obviously – no Peter, no Dick, no Rod! Can we just discuss this intelligently, please?

My Name is Luka, I Live on the 870th Floor

Saturday, May 13th, 2006

The Social Security Administration released the list of the top-1000 baby names for 2005 today, and it’s full of surprises. One of us!The biggest shockers are the top spots, with Van clocking in as the most popular name for boys and Montserrat winning out among the girl handles.

Just kidding, it was Jacob and Emily again, just like it was the year before and the year before that and the year before that, and just like it will continue to be until the day you die. This is the dawning of the age of Jacob and Emily. When Jupiter is aligned with Florida, all who bear those holy monikers shall rise up as one and rule over the pathetic lesser-thans! Resistance is futile! All shall be assimiliated! All shall worship at the alter of the kingdom of Jacob and Emily!

Anyway, should be cool when the Baby Name Voyager is updated with the new data.

- Matt