Our kid is getting to the point where he is opening drawers and getting out our handguns and heroin, so I think soon we’re going to have to employ some childproofing methods.

Although I think this video is not the most efficient way to keep kids out of drawers, it sure seems like he’s having fun.

Childproof Drawer – Watch more free videos

- Zac

Man, if you think our blog is funny, thank you very much and please continue to check back for more occasional updates. But if you think you have room in your life for two funny blogs, you should check out The Story About The Baby.

Actually “blog” isn’t quite the right term, it is more like this guy’s online journal that captures the first year of his kid’s life.

A choice section:

Why I Got Rid Of All of My Large Pots

Having a baby around makes it much harder to manage the voices in my head. I mean, before, they just told me to do horrible things to myself and my wife. But my wife knows Tae Kwon Do and could kick my ass, and I can’t do anything painful to myself because I’m a big pussy. So that was all right.

But now I spend all of my time having internal conversations like:

Me: “Oh, hell. Did I remember to put out the diapers so the service can pick them up?”
Inner voice: “Boil the baby.”

Or,

Me: “Phew. She’s finally asleep. I can get some work done.”
Inner voice: “Boil the baby.”

Or,

Me: “I’m hungry. I sure could use a ham sandwich.”
Inner voice: “Boil the …. wait. Did you say ham?”
Me: “Mmmmm. Sandwich.”
Inner voice: “Mmmmm. Sandwich.”
Me: “Better clean this plate.”
Inner voice: “Put the baby in the dishwasher.”

But the voice in my head didn’t get its way. I wasn’t able to fit the baby in the dishwasher rack.

Fortunately, my wife is understanding. She put Post-It notes on all of our large cooking vessels. Each says, in large, clear letters, “Don’t boil the baby.” It confused my parents when they came over, so, when they asked about it, I said “What? Are you saying it’s a good idea to boil the baby?” Then they changed the subject really quickly, so I think everything is going to work out OK.

- Zac

For a while I was posting little movies of my kid to YouTube but I ran into a lot of issues.

First of all, their service does not accept .MOV files and that is the file type that my camera outputs, so I had to go through a (lossy) conversion process, then upload the .AVI file to YouTube. Also, YouTube doesn’t have any editing tools, so basically, you’re stuck with the video you took, even if it ends stupidly.

Then I found Jumpcut.



Jumpcut lets you upload .mpg, .mpeg, .mp4, .avi, .mov, .wmv, .flv, .rm, and 3GP (mobile phone) movies, and once they’re up there on their site, you can add titles, some goofy things like make it black-and-white, or sepiatone, add music, add transitions and all sorts of Señor Spielbergo stuff.

Behold!


This routine home movie of a boy and his dog is now beyond entertaining thanks to some pre-programmed fonts and effects!

It also has a little bit more of an updated feel than YouTube, more user-friendly and community oriented. So it gets my vote, and someday we may be saying “WhoTube?”

- Zac

When Hank graduated to eating food, we needed a high chair (since feeding him in his stroller was getting to be a drag). We looked around at a bunch of them, finally deciding on the Fisher-Price Healthy Care Booster seat.

It just straps onto your own dining room chair so the kid is right at the table with you. The nice thing is that you don’t need to make room for (yet another) large free standing piece of furniture in your house. When he’s not in it, you can just push in the chair and it goes under the table. Also, the whole damned thing is plastic, so you can hose it down or throw the tray in the dishwasher.It folds up fairly compactly which makes it easy to travel with. We just got back from a week’s vacation and I don’t know what we would’ve done if we had a big monster high chair.It costs about $25, or if you like putting your money into the toilet you can rent it from this place for $25 a week. (How that makes sense to anybody, I’ll never know).- Zac