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The Story About the Baby

Man, if you think our blog is funny, thank you very much and please continue to check back for more occasional updates. But if you think you have room in your life for two funny blogs, you should check out The Story About The Baby.

Actually “blog” isn’t quite the right term, it is more like this guy’s online journal that captures the first year of his kid’s life.

A choice section:

Why I Got Rid Of All of My Large Pots

Having a baby around makes it much harder to manage the voices in my head. I mean, before, they just told me to do horrible things to myself and my wife. But my wife knows Tae Kwon Do and could kick my ass, and I can’t do anything painful to myself because I’m a big pussy. So that was all right.

But now I spend all of my time having internal conversations like:

Me: “Oh, hell. Did I remember to put out the diapers so the service can pick them up?”
Inner voice: “Boil the baby.”

Or,

Me: “Phew. She’s finally asleep. I can get some work done.”
Inner voice: “Boil the baby.”

Or,

Me: “I’m hungry. I sure could use a ham sandwich.”
Inner voice: “Boil the …. wait. Did you say ham?”
Me: “Mmmmm. Sandwich.”
Inner voice: “Mmmmm. Sandwich.”
Me: “Better clean this plate.”
Inner voice: “Put the baby in the dishwasher.”

But the voice in my head didn’t get its way. I wasn’t able to fit the baby in the dishwasher rack.

Fortunately, my wife is understanding. She put Post-It notes on all of our large cooking vessels. Each says, in large, clear letters, “Don’t boil the baby.” It confused my parents when they came over, so, when they asked about it, I said “What? Are you saying it’s a good idea to boil the baby?” Then they changed the subject really quickly, so I think everything is going to work out OK.

- Zac

One Response to “The Story About the Baby”

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    November 14th, 2011 08:29
    1

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